The Process
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My precious Mom found out in April 2011 that she had breast cancer. Had breast cancer-thankfully, it has been removed and she is on the road to recovery. Before she received her diagnosis the Lord made it very clear to her that she was going to walk through something hard, and she suspected it would be cancer. My Mom is young and healthy; a diagnosis like this seemed almost impossible to all of us. The doctors she saw were certain that they could remove the small tumor and she would be back to her old self in no time.
My family prayed and prayed over Mom’s surgery- for doctors, wisdom, pain, every aspect we could think of. Little did we know the surgery would be the least of her worries- the recovery, chemo and subsequent reconstruction would leave my Mom pretty much bed-ridden for over two months. She could barely lift her arms even to talk on the phone. Small things completely zapped her energy and were extremely painful. She suffered not only physically but mentally; the busy lifestyle she loves had been halted for re-runs of Judge Judy. She missed her friends, children, grandchildren- she missed her life.
My heart was completely broken for her. I cried out to the Lord frequently on her behalf. Many of you can probably guess that my mind went to “WHY, Lord?” often. I don’t know the why, and probably will not on this side of heaven. I believe now its okay that I don’t know “the why”, because I’ve learned some lessons in this journey. Oftentimes when we pray, as I prayed for my Mom, we pray for instantaneous healing. This is no big thing for the Lord, and I believe He can and will absolutely heal on the spot. What the Lord showed me with my Mother is that sometimes it’s a process.
The Lord taught me this concept with a passage from the book of Mark. I’ve read the through gospels several times; however these verses just jumped out at me. It was another, “WHY, Lord?” moment.
Mark 8:22-26
22 They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. 23 He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?”
24 He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.”
25 Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. 26 Jesus sent him home, saying, “Don’t even go into the village.”
Do you see it? Usually when Jesus healed in the Bible it was immediate. People jumped up and took off running. Jesus had to touch this man twice to be healed. My question was, “Why Lord? Why did Jesus have to touch this man twice? Why didn’t it happen the first time?” I must tell you, there was no divine revelation from Heaven in the voice of an angel. I actually had to search through a few commentaries to find an explanation, but what I read made perfect sense. You see, Jesus used this man to teach His disciples (and us) that sometimes it’s a process. Sometimes our healing doesn’t come immediately because we need to work through things. We need to work through hard, even painful things in our lives so that we can be healed completely in ways we might not have even recognized. We don’t have the same knowledge that our Creator does, and we must learn to trust that He has a better plan- even if it isn’t what we would have chosen.
My Mom kept a journal of all the things she was thankful for during this time. She listed all of the ways God had blessed her. She learned countless ways to be kind to someone who’s suffering, and she fully intends to use this first-hand knowledge to bless others (and I will too). I know she had many times where there were tears, begging, hurting and yet ultimately she praised Him for the Good God that He is. He showed Himself to be Faithful, Trustworthy, Loving, and best of all: Near.
My Mom will never be the same, and neither will any of us in my family. We’ve been changed by “the process”. Thank You, Jesus for doing it Your way!
*image from here
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